So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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