I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize