This girl is more easily done than said...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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