apparently the secret to your success is patron
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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