Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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