Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize