What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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