Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
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