we're blogging at a bar
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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