i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize