it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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