if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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