I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
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Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize