I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just gift wrapped bread.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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