Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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