He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize