That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
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i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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