What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
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He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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