I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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