What a fucking waste of an outfit
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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