The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize