Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
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pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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