I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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