Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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