His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
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I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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