shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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