i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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