You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize