I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize