i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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