if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
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so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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