I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
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It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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