hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize