well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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