Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
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So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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