What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
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I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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