She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize