Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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