Don't you send me to vm
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
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She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
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I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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