Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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