Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize