You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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