Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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