He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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