You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize