i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize