dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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