so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
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I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
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Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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