Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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