Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize